Games by Andrex

Fear and Self Loathing in Tumblr

I hate myself.

I hate myself.

I hate myself.

Now that that’s out of the way, I think I can take you hating me too.

At the rate things are going, 4kg should be about 80% done by the time December is over. I absolutely hate myself for not making good on my promises. I also dislike how I think you all care enough about the game to hate me for delaying it. Unwarranted self importance in the highest.

With that angst out of the way, I will say I am glad with how the game is shaping up. I mean, I look at games like Super Meat Boy and feel nothing but envy — both in the reception its gotten and how well-designed it is. It really does make a small part of me want to start over from scratch…

But I won’t, I won’t ever do that. I am happy with where 4kg is. If anything, most of me wants to just get it done so I can start work on a new game, putting everything I’ve learned into practice from the start. While I’m sure I’ll be immensely proud of 4kg when it is released (in January), 4kg doesn’t take into account anything I’ve learned design-wise since August. And I think I’ve learned a lot. Freezing the design was one of the best things I’ve done for this game, but at the same time it means that 4kg doesn’t represent me currently. That’s always going to be the dilemma though.

I’m a bit nervous that I’ll finally finish 4kg and people will hate it, and that they’ll hate me even though I’ve grown since I’ve designed 4kg.

Heh, look at me… downplaying my own game before its even out. I guess I’ll diligently finish the work laid out for me, and hope for the best. Then take all that feedback into account when designing my next game.

One thing playing on my mind is that… even though I still want to do so much with 4kg, I may have bitten off more than I can chew. You look at the first Fancy Pants Adventure by Brad Borne… that game is practically paper-thin. A very small amount of levels, enemies, and mechanics. But he nailed the controls, which was probably his goal. The important thing is that even though the game was really small, at least he finished it and put it out there. Even the sequel, World 2 was pretty small — about six main levels, three enemy types, and one alternate “quest” (snail golf.) But he refined the controls even further…

4kg has fifteen levels, six main types of enemies, and one alternate mechanic (the virtual world.) In comparison, 4kg is like the first two FPA games put together. But Borne didn’t focus on length or depth, he focused on controls. Controls in 4kg are almost lifted wholesale from Super Mario Bros., so I haven’t spent much time thinking in how to innovate with them.

And I thought I was being conservative with what I planned for 4kg. Now I realize, maybe I should have gone even smaller. The levels themselves were a blast to design, and the enemy AI shouldn’t be too hard to program. Did I misplace my focus with 4kg? Instead of focusing on the amount of levels and the story, should I have focused on innovating with the controls and just trying to get it out?

I think self-doubt is required as a game developer. You can’t have too much, but it forces you to constantly re-evaluate yourself to try to get better.

Whew. Thanks for suffering through that. I needed to blow off some steam. As gratitude I’ll say that a trailer for 4kg will definitely be released by the end of the month. It doesn’t make up for the delay, but at least it’s something. And it will use one of the tracks from the game!

-Andrex